你想让我用这个做什么 You want me to do what with this?
你听到我说的了 You heard what I said.
不要违抗我 Don't defy me.
按我说的做就完了 Just do... as I say.
是的 女士 只是 Yes, madam, it's just that...
别抱怨了 Stop complaining.
你想保住我给你在这儿的工作的话 You want to keep the position I have given you here,
你就得证明自己的价值 then you have to prove your worth.
好的 我只是不明白 Okay, I just don't understand
这怎么会帮助我们找到她 how this is going to help us find her.
我的意思是他什么也不知道 I mean, he doesn't know anything.
这远不止于此 It's much more than that.
我很轻易地能帮你找到另一个职位 I can easily find another chair for you.
我能说点什么吗 Can I just say something here?
你没有权利说话 You have no right to speak.
而且 你应该学会感恩 Besides, you should be grateful.
你将成为我的第一个客人 You get to be my first guest...
克拉维尔 Clover.
从现在开始 营会正式 From now on, this camp is officially...
开始营业 ...open for business.
异常吸引力
哇哦 Ooh.
啊 Whoa!
数月来引起大众广泛讨论的 A longstanding feud that has come to the forefront
长期争执 of popular discussion in recent months
进一步急剧升级 has escalated dramatically.
无端的暴力和骚乱已经司空见惯 Unprovoked violence and riots have become commonplace.
这个世界急需改变 The world sees a need for change,
但仍不清楚应该采取什么样的行动 but is still unclear on the proper course of action.
舒普总统一直声称 President Shump has consistently spoken out
反对种族隔离 against the segregation
并热衷增进州与州之间的团结 and urged for an increase in unity among our great states.
我现在请到了一位杰出的 I'm here with a leading
非人类权益活动家 恶魔 non-human rights activist, The Wicked One.
关于总统昨晚的演讲 Is there anything you'd like to say
你想说点什么吗 about the president's speech last night?
你认为我们国家的未来依赖 Do you think that our country's hopes rely on
各方的开放和协调吗 an openness to compromise on all sides?
如你所见 这是一个很严重的问题 As you can see, this is a very serious issue...
去她妈的权利 Fuck her right in the pussy!
第一章 起源
哦 Oh.
- 斯坦 - 老天啊 - Stan! - Jesus!
尼克 Nick!
你能偶尔说下“科尔博士 打扰了”吗 Is it so hard to say, excuse me, Dr. Cole, occasionally?
我是说 怎么了 有人在你衣服上撒尿了吗 I mean, what, did somebody piss on your shirt?
不 不 好吧 我和未婚妻 No, no, look, okay, my fiancee and I,
我们最近有些问题 we've been having a couple of problems lately,
她认为我有些事情瞒着她 and she thinks that I'm hiding something from her, which...
你有婚外情了 对吧 Well, you're cheating on her, right?
不是 我永远都不会这样做 No, I would never do that.
我爱她 I love her.
好吧 你想要我做些什么 All right, what do you want from me?
好的 我最近事情很多 Okay, so, I've had a lot on my mind recently,
我今晚组织了一个AA互助会 and I accidentally scheduled an AA meeting tonight
AA互助会：一般指戒酒互助会
但是我不能去 that I can't make.
你 You...
你得替我去一下 You gotta cover it for me.
哦 他们真是好人 Oh. They're really good people!
你真的可以帮他们 You could really, really help them,
甚至还能学些东西 and you might even learn something.
哦 我知道的够多了 Oh, I know plenty.
好吧 听着 不好意思 不好意思 Okay, look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
我很抱歉 我不能冒险去这次会议 I'm sorry, look, I can't risk going to this meeting.
如果你能帮我去一下 Look, if you cover this for me,
我就帮你参加一周的会议 I'll cover your meetings for a week.
-一周吗 -对 一周 A week? A week.
你一周能抓很多鱼呢 You can catch a lot of fish in a week.
嗯 确实很久没抓过了 Well, it has been a while.
哦 太谢谢你了 Oh, thank you so much.
非常感谢 非常感谢 Thank you so, so much.
就想告诉你一声 这群人有点奇怪 Just so you know, it's kind of a weird group of people,
其实会议不在这儿 so it's not actually here.
什么 什么 什么 什么 What, what, what, what?!
不 没啥问题 No, it's fine!
会议在8点15分 霍普金斯大厅 我待会把地址发给你 It's 8:15, Hopkins Hall, I'll text you the address.
你很棒 你肯定可以的 You'll be wonderful, you'll be fine!
我爱你 I love you!
你一定没问题 You'll be great!
太好了 Beautiful!
打扰一下 你知道AA互助会在哪儿吗 Excuse me, you know where the AA meeting is?
你是参会人员吗 You one of them?
地下室比较适合你们这种人 The basement's the right place for your type.
兄弟 你知道禁令在三十年代就没了对吧 You know, prohibition ended in the '30s, pal.
你好 Hi.
你是？ And you are Mister...
约翰尼 Johnny.
嗨 约翰尼 Hi, Johnny.
你是谁 Who are you?
哦 我很高兴你问了 Oh, well, I'm glad you asked.
各位请坐 Everybody, would you please take a seat?
嗨 我是 Hi, I'm...
随便坐哪儿都行 Yeah, anywhere, just sit anywhere.
我是斯坦利科尔博士 是个酒鬼 I'm Dr. Stanley Cole, and I am an alcoholic.
你好 科尔博士 你好 斯坦利科尔博士 Hello, Dr. Cole Hello, Dr. Stanley Cole.
我来代替莱恩先生的 I am substituting for Mr. Lane
他家出了急事 who has a family emergency.
我们轮流介绍一下自己吧 Why don't we go around and introduce ourselves?
他是约翰尼 You know Johnny, and...
我是凯瑟琳 I'm Catherine.
凯瑟琳 Catherine.
蒂莫西 Timothy.
很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you.
声音能大点吗 Could you speak up, please?
蒂姆 Tim.
他叫蒂姆 His name's Tim.
谢谢 戴夫 Thanks, Dave.
希金斯 戴夫 Higgins, Dave.
你好 我是新来的 Hi, I'm new.
我是泰德 这是我第一次来 I'm Ted, it's my first time here.
我是安妮 I'm Anne.
妮妮 Annie.
安妮玛丽 Anne Marie.
随便叫哪个都行 Whichever you'd prefer.
妮妮 Annie.
我是贝拉 I'm Bella.
你笑起来很好看 I bet you have a lovely smile.
你能把牙齿露出来吗 Could you show me your teeth?
贝拉 老是关注别人的牙 Always with the teeth, Bella.
好的 Okay.
我不知道这个流程是怎么样的 I don't know how we work the program here,
但是 呃 but um...
我们开始分享吧 ...just start the sharing?
有谁已经等不及要 Anybody have a burning desire,
分享一下这周有什么扰乱了他们计划的 something that might have took them off the rails
糟心事情吗 a little bit this week?
嗯 凯瑟琳 Yes, Catherine.
前几天我在超市受到了诱惑 I was tempted at the supermarket the other day.
我在冷冻食品区 I was in the frozen food section,
找速食晚餐 然后就看见了他 checking out the TV dinners, when there he was.
他爬到冰箱上的样子 真是太可爱了 It was so adorable how he climbed to the top of the fridge,
他那性感的红胡子 可爱的雀斑 with his sexy red beard, cute freckles,
超酷的风格 还有那完美的小屁股 great style, and this perfect little ass.
哦 我就喜欢听这些 Ooh, that's what I like to hear.
再讲讲这个完美的小屁股 Tell me more about that perfect little ass.
哦 我的天哪 那真是太棒了 Oh, my gosh, it was amazing.
恩 你们这里可以闲聊吗 Yeah, you crosstalk here?
是的 Yeah.
哦 好吧 Oh, okay.
继续吧 Go on.
总之 当他去拿六罐装的啤酒的时候 Anyway, just as he reached the six-pack,
他失去了平衡 he lost his balance.
我不知道他怎么做到的 I mean, I don't know how he did it,
但是不知怎么 他救下了啤酒 but somehow he managed to save the beer.
因为没有帮他 我有点愧疚 I felt bad for not helping him,
但是我知道我不能帮他 因为我太容易受诱惑 but I knew I couldn't 'cause I'd be too tempted.
好的 谢谢你的分享 Well, thank you for sharing.
我是爱尔兰人 I'm Irish.
呃 Uh?
提米 Timmy.
提米 你想说些什么吗 Timmy, anything you wanna say?
有人曾和我说 You know, someone once said to me,
别等到你想清楚说什么的时候 you know, don't wait till you know what you're talking about
才说话 不然你永远都没有机会的 before you open your mouth, or you'll never get the program.
提米 随便说点什么 You, anything, Tim.
我忘不了她 I can't get her outta my mind.
哪个“它” Her or it?
你是在按步骤来吗？ Are you working the steps?
到第几步了 What step are you on?
第四步 The fourth.
这里的角度最好 That's usually where I get my best angle.
什么 我不明白 What, I don't understand.
你在台阶上喝酒吗 You're drinking on a step?
我正看着她 I'm watching her.
想着她 爱着她 珍惜她 Thinking of her, loving her, cherishing her,
我自慰了一会儿 I masturbate a little bit,
想象着我们生活在一起 我们的孩子们的样子 imagining our lives together, what our kids would look like,
我又自慰了一会儿 I masturbate some more.
哦 你在这个会议上说这些 Oh, this might not be the right meeting
可能不是很合适吧 for you to cover that.
哦 不 不 不 挺合适的 Oh, no, no, no, he's in the right one.
现在让我说完 Now, let me finish.
呃 我的意思是让他说完 Er, I mean, him finish.
你能从自慰那个部分讲起吗 Could you go back to the masturbating part again?
她好奇怪 She's weird.
她的父母可能也很奇怪 Parents are probably weird too.
也许他们参与其中 Maybe they get in on it?
行吧 Okay.
哦 不好意思 Oh, sorry.
就 Just...
哦 我们现在开始第七个传统吧 Oh, why don't we take this moment for the seventh tradition.
戒酒互助会第七个传统是每个分会都应自给自足 谢绝外界捐赠
就递一下帽子 行吗 Just pass the hat, would you?
我要接一下这个电话 And I gotta take this.
你让我来了什么鬼地方 What the hell have you gotten me into here?
什么 你屁股里有东西 What, you got something in your ass,
她觉得很有吸引力？ and she finds it attractive?
我不知道 Well, I don't know.
我是说 如果你觉得长期来看没问题 I mean, if, you know, it's all right with you,
我不知道 那你上呗 in the long run, I don't know, maybe go for it, I guess.
什么 我听不到你 What? I can't hear you.
这儿信号不好 You're breaking up here.
我等会打电话给你吧 Let me call you right back.
好吧 谁是下一个呢 Okay, who's next?
- 那 - 好吧 Well... Alright.
说一下我那让你们久等 Story you've all been waiting for...
的故事 Mine.
故事发生在我还是个小孩子时 It all started when I was a kid
我掉了第一颗牙 and I lost my first tooth.
然后我就睡着了 直到...... And then I fell asleep until...
睡觉去吧 小家伙 Go to sleep, little one.
嘘 Shh.
你不知道我那儿都硬成啥样了 You wouldn't believe the stiffy I had.
哦 Oh.
你不是才九岁吗 Weren't you nine?
对啊 Yeah.
是九英寸 Inches.
哦 没错 我忘了 你喜欢小的 Oh, that's right, I forgot, you like them small.
不管怎样 回到正题 Anyway, back to the feature presentation.
到那个时候 我要掉的牙 At this point, I had lost all the teeth
都掉了 我再也没机会瞥见 that I was gonna lose, and I hadn't even been able to catch
她那难以言语的美 a single glimpse of her elusive beauty again,
所以我开始想办法 so I started scheming.
就像你看到的 计划成功了 As you can see, that plan fell through.
我又试了一遍 只是这次 比较最近 I tried again, only this time, more recently.
三 Three.
二 Two.
一 One.
哦 太好了 Oh, yeah!
你把你的两颗门牙都拔出来了？ You pulled out your two front teeth?
我的意思是 你拔了两颗最明显的牙 I mean, you got rid of your two most visible teeth
就为了让那个喜欢牙的人喜欢你吗 in order to make somebody who likes teeth like you?
有点病态 你不这么觉得吗 It's kinda dysfunctional, don't you think?
所以用牙齿当诱饵 So using that tooth as bait,
我布下了终极仙女陷阱 I set the ultimate fairy trap.
我几乎错失了机会直到... I almost missed my opportunity when...
我的爱人 My love!
我抓到你啦 I got you!
我终于抓到你啦 I finally got you!
什么 亲爱的？ What, my love?
宝贝？ Baby?
你好像弄坏了自己的魔杖 Think you broke your wand.
不用担心 这个没有魔法 Don't worry, the magic's not in this one.
哦 该死 Oh, shit.
戴夫 你知道牙仙不止一个吧 You know there's more than one Tooth Fairy, Dave.
对 是不止一个 No, there isn't!
每个人都说那个牙仙 而不是一个牙仙 Everyone says the Tooth Fairy, not a Tooth Fairy,
所以你为什么不闭嘴 so why don't you shut up
学学怎么说英语呢 你个傻逼 and learn how to speak English, you dry humper.
贝拉 你为什么来了 Bella, what brings you here?
吸血鬼们 Vampires.
他们实在让我欲火难耐 They really make my blood boil.
鬼魂让我起鸡皮疙瘩 而我让他们鸡儿梆硬 Ghosts give me goosebumps, and I give them goose humps.
等一下 Hold on.
我甚至都不知道这是个问题 I didn't even know this was a problem.
我也不知道 Neither did I.
如果我知道的话 Maybe if I would've known,
我肯定会给我哥搞更好的治疗的 I could've gotten my brother the proper treatment.
治疗？ Treatment?
这就是我为什么在这儿啊 That's why I'm here,
为了分享他的故事 尽可能帮助别人 to share his story and help whoever I can.
我哥哥的执迷不悟 You see, my brother's obsession
让他陷入了困境 turned out to be his downfall.
内德是那种会为自然着迷的人 Ned was the kinda guy who was fascinated by nature.
他喜欢自然中所有东西 He loved everything and anything in it...
尤其是动物 ...animals in particular.
内德只爱一件事情 There was only one thing
甚于宠物 that my brother Ned loved more than his pets,
那就是它们长头发的能力 长很多头发 and that was their ability to grow hair, lots of hair.
内德是个光头 是那种一根头发都没有的光头 Ned was bald, very bald, like all over everywhere bald.
他对头发的渴望变成了一种不健康的迷恋 His envy of hair developed into an unhealthy attraction.
这就是为什么他最珍贵的物品 That's why his most prized possession...
是最毛茸茸的它 was the hairiest of them all.
嘘 Hush.
嘘 我的爱人 放松 Hush, my love, relax.
放松 我的爱人 Relax, my love.
我希望这次意义非凡 I want this time to be really meaningful.
我希望你能触摸我 I want you to be able to touch me...
就像我触摸你一样 as I touch you,
来感受我 to feel me,
了解我 to know me,
进入我的身体 to be inside me.
现在 填补一下我们之间的“空洞”吧 Now, why don't you show me the missing link?
哦 好啊 Oh, yes!
好啊 Yes!
我将埋在枷锁里 ? I'll be buried in the chains
埋在爱的枷锁里 ? Buried in the chains of love
我将永远埋在枷锁里 ? I'll be forever buried in the chains ?
埋在爱的枷锁里 ? Buried in the chains of love
我不能忍受那张 ? And I can't stand the face
我在沉思中看到的脸 ? That I see in my reflection
我埋在枷锁里 ? And I'm buried in the chains
埋在爱的枷锁里 ? Buried in the chains of love
哦 ? Oh
埋在爱的枷锁里 ? Buried in the chains
埋在爱的枷锁里 ? Buried in the chains of love
哦 ? Oh
我们不应该和这些生物以这种方式在一起 We are not meant to be with these creatures in this way.
他们值得被尊敬 They deserve to be respected.
他们的存在不是为了成为我们的奴隶 They do not exist to be our slaves,
所以我请求你们停下来 so please, I urge you all to stop.
这是一种病 This is a sickness.
如果你沉迷其中 只会毁了自己的生活 If you obsess over them, it'll only ruin your lives.
不要让我哥哥白死了 Don't let my brother's death be in vain.
我认为泰德说得有道理 I think Ted has a point.
我是说 天涯何处无芳草 I mean, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
你不能强迫爱情 And you can't force love.
我觉得我们都能 I mean, I think that's a lesson
从中学到些道理 对吧 that we could all take from this, don't you?
嘿 Hey!
jb脸 Fuck face!
什么 你在说什么 What, excuse me?
jb脸？ Fuck face?
我们为什么不谈谈我的问题 Why don't we talk about my problems?
你都不知道它们是什么 You don't even know what they are!
这是我第四次参会 而我都只提过我的名字 This is my fourth session and I've only mentioned my name.
好吧 冷静下来 妮妮 Okay, well, calm down, Annie...
不 No.
我叫安妮 It's Anne.
好的 安妮 Okay, Anne.
你有什么问题 What's your problem?
我的问题是什么 What's my problem?
我来告诉你 I'll show you.
这 就是 This...
我的问题 ...is my problem.
哦 好啊 Oh, yeah.
我们现在算是进入正题了 Now we're in session.
这是我的问题 This is my problem.
是谁胆敢把我从梦中叫醒 Who dares awaken me from my slumber?
你 You!
不 不 该死 Oh, no, shit.
不 该死 Oh, shit.
不 不 别找我麻烦 No, no, you don't want me,
你可以去找那边那个夜晚活死人老兄 you want Night of the Living Dead.
他真的有点毛病 He's really fucked up.
行 Yeah.
你 You!
谁捏的我 Who did that?!
谁搞的 Who did that?!
哦 又是你啊 安妮 Aw, it's you again, Annie.
已经三年了 It's been three years!
三年 Three years!
你在茶壶里面呆过三年吗 Have you ever spent three years in a teapot?!
你为什么对我这么坏 Why you being so mean to me?
你一会把我装进茶壶 一会又把我拉出来 You keep pulling me in and out of this thing.
你能把我放到一个大台灯里面吗 Can you please put me back in a big lamp?
我的意思是 我一直表现不错 对吧 I mean, I've been good, haven't I?
我知道自己最后一个愿望是什么了 I think I know what my last wish is going to be.
是什么 What is that?
如果你不想在茶壶里 我就不让你进去了 I can't keep you bottled up if you don't wanna be.
我希望 I wish...
我希望你自由 I wish for you to be free.
就这个吗 Is that it?
你有没有手指交叉或者怎么样 Did you have your fingers crossed or something?
如果你发现有人与别人说话时,在身后偷偷将手指交叉,那就意味着这个人在说谎
这算什么 什么笑话吗 I mean, what is this, some kind of a big joke?
不 我认为我们自由了 No, I think we're free.
我们？ We?
你居然说我们？ 你个婊砸 We, bitch?
你一直在这大摇大摆走来走去 You've been out here waltzing around,
我就在那个破灯里面 I've been in that damn lamp.
好的 Okay.
我认为今天的时间差不多了 I think that's all the time we have for today.
我们取得了些突破 I think we had some good breakthroughs.
莱恩先生会在下周或下个月什么时候回来 Mr. Lane will be in next week or next month or whenever,
我会尽量顺路来打个招呼 and I'll try to stop by and say hello.
好的 Okay.
会议不错 Good meeting.
异常吸引力“奇异之处却是正常”www.creaturelove（生物之爱）.com
呃 Hmm.
灯塔花园
亲爱的 我回家了 Honey, I'm home!
希望你能又美又湿 Hope you're nice and wet for me!
你不会相信今晚我参加了什么会议 You wouldn't believe the meeting I came from tonight.
那儿有好些真正的疯子 There's some real lunatics in that place.
但是我不在乎 But I don't care.
我得来看我的泡泡美人 I've come to see my Bubbles.
我的小美人鱼 My little Bubbles.
我太粗鲁了 How rude of me.
你想要点吗 Here, you want some?
我们能玩捕蛤蜊吗？ Can we play hunt for clams?
你不喜欢这个游戏吗 You don't like that game?
也许我应该把你移到水池里 Maybe I should consider moving you to the pool.
第二章 离去
我就是不明白你为什么要帮他 I just don't understand why you had to help him.
他确实需要帮助 Well, he needed the help.
他在厕所洗手的时候 I mean, by the time he was washing his hands in the urinal
我发现他喝醉了 which was when I figured out that he was gone.
我确保他安全到家 I made sure that he got home okay.
安全第一 Safety first.
你为什么不相信我 Why won't you believe me?
我相信你 I do believe you.
但是你总是费很多劲帮助人们 But you always go too far outta your way to help people.
对啊 我在做正确的事情 Yeah, it's the right thing to do.
宝贝 那你比我人好 Well, you're better than me, babe.
这就是我爱你的原因 That's why I love you.
那是唯一原因 That is the only reason.
对的 就是这个原因 哈哈 Yeah, that's it. Yeah, mm-hm.
我爱你 I love you.
对了 谢谢你的午餐 By the way, thank you for lunch
让我不用吃他们这儿的东西 and getting me out of eating the food that they have here.
说到这儿 Speaking of which,
我今晚有个超棒的晚餐计划 I have a wonderful dinner planned for this evening.
嗯 Mm.
我等不及了 I can't wait.
哦 Oh!
晚餐能往后推推吗 Can it wait?!
- 什么 - 我今晚不能去了 What?! I can't make it tonight.
- 为什么 - 我要工作 Why?! I have to work.
我今晚都要在这儿 I'm gonna be here all night.
一整晚吗 All night?
你得做什么要做一整晚 What do they need you to do here all night?
宝贝 我告诉过你了 我试着尽可能 Honey, I told you, I am trying to do
多做事情 as much work as I possibly can.
你老是没有理由地就失踪 You keep disappearing for no reason.
我不喜欢自己早上醒来时 I don't like it when I wake up in the morning
你还没回家 and you're still not home.
宝贝 我不是每个晚上都这样 行吗 Honey, I do not do this every single night, okay?
只是偶尔这样 This is a once in a while thing.
我试着给我们的蜜月攒钱 I'm trying to pay for our honeymoon.
那得花不少钱 It's gonna cost us a fortune.
好吧 Okay.
尼克 你知道我对不忠的看法 Nick, you know how I feel about infidelity,
所以如果你劈腿了 so if there's someone else,
你现在就给我说出来 you need to just say that right now.
阿莉莎 Alyssa...
没有 No.
阿莉莎 没有 Alyssa, no.
没有第三者 There is no one else.
那你今晚陪我 Then be with me tonight.
我不能 I can't.
那么 我不能和我不信任的人结婚 Well, I sure as hell can't marry someone I don't trust.
好好享受你的夜晚 Enjoy your night.
阿莉莎 Alyssa.
哦 Oh.
我可以让你充满活力 ? I can bring you back to life
不 No.
别这样 Come on.
今晚别这样 Not tonight.
别这样 Come on.
该死 Dammit.
别这样 猎鹰 Come on, Falcon.
快点 Come on.
哦 老天 Oh, God.
这下应该行了吧 This'll work.
这应该可以了吧 That should do it.
快点 Come on.
上帝 如果你能让这辆车开起来 我会永远爱你 Please, God, if you start this car, I will love you forever.
去你的 老天 Fuck you, God!
去你的 Fuck you!
你个贱人 Son of a bitch!
坐在我的怀里 转一转 ? Sit on my hand, play a little sin spin ?
哦 上帝啊 Oh, Jesus.
你要我帮你一把吗 陌生人 You need a hand, stranger?
或者如果有什么大麻烦 可以帮你两把 Or if it's a big problem, you need two hands?
不 不好意思 我挺好的 No, I'm sorry, I'm good.
你吓死我了 You scared the shit outta me.
哦 没关系 没关系 Ah, it's quite alright, it's quite alright.
让我好好看一下里面 Let me just take a deep look inside.
有时候 你得深入其中 Sometimes, you have to get real close to the base.
我们来看一下 一 二 三 Here we go, one, two, three.
哦 Ooohhh!
哦 哇 Ooohhh. Whoa.
好的 Okay.
呃 Hm.
好的 Yeah!
这里面状况挺复杂的 There's a lot going on in here!
很多东西 Lots of stuff.
这是辆新的V7吗 Is this the new V7?
它挺好的 It's a beaut!
好的 Yeah.
你看到什么了 What do you see?
哦 天呢 Oh, man.
很高兴看到你 Nice to meet ya!
我叫芬巴尔 Name's Finbar.
但是只有朋友才这么叫我 But only my friends call me that.
哦 Oh!
啊 Ah!
找到你的问题了 Here is your problem.
对啊 Yeah!
看起来你用错了口香糖 Looks like you were using the wrong stick of gum.
呃 Hm.
不够粘 Not sticky enough.
不用担心 No worries!
我能带你一程 I can give you a ride.
你喜欢在车里唱歌吗 You like to sing in the car?
卡车有点颠簸 但你坐上去会感觉还不错 Truck's a little bumpy, but it feels nice on your heinie!
好啊 Yeah.
呃 Hmmm.
呃 Mm.
这不行 That's not okay.
呃 Hmm.
呃 Hmmm.
我就不用了 谢谢 You know, I'm good.
我就打电话叫人帮忙吧 I'm just gonna, I'll call someone for help.
你可以走了 You can go.
这个绿垃圾 This green piece of shit.
呃 这是什么 妈妈 Hm, what's this? Mama.
呃 Hm.
我之前还在找这个来着 I was looking for this.
对啊 这个挺好的 Yeah, this was nice.
好的 Okay!
这个有点小 I... You know it's just a wee
但是你能坐在我的大腿上 bit tight, but you can sit on my lap.
这不会是什么问题 That shan't be a problem.
我不用了 I'm good.
不用了 I'm good.
我就是和你开玩笑而已 I'm just fucking with ya.
你懂的 逗一逗 You know, tweaking your tits?
你应该和我一起走 You should probably just come along with me.
今晚是满月 It's gonna be a full moon tonight,
怪物们都出来了 and all the freaks are out.
是的 我知道 Yeah, I know.
你进来就好 Just hop on in!
坐在我脸上 Sit on my face!
这不是挺好的吗 Ain't it nice?
不过得拍拍灰 Had to flip it over, though.
人们坐在我的鸡鸡上不太舒服 Wasn't too comfortable with people sitting on my pee-pee.
我更喜欢他们坐在我的脸上 I prefer they sit on my face.
我觉得我可以修好车 I think I can fix it.
我没啥问题 I think I'm good.
好吧 Alrighty!
随你便 Suit yourself!
我还是自己操自己然后滚蛋吧 I guess I'll go fuck myself and be on my way...
因为我的那边是朝上的 'Cause mine's right side up!
哈 哈 Ha ha!
听懂了吗 Get it?!
每次都笑死我了 Gets me every time!
哦 该死 Ah, shit!
哈 Ha!
好吧 我们待会见吧 Alright, I'll see you later.
保重 Take care.
好啊 Yeah!
就这样 宝贝 Yes, baby!
呜呼 Woo-hoo!
让我们来跳手指舞 ? Let me do the Finger Dance ?
有人吗 Hello?
这儿有人吗 Is anyone in there?
有人吗 Hello?
嘿 不好意思 我的车出了问题 Hey, sorry, I'm just having a little car trouble.
朋友 你为什么不早说呢 Well, why didn't you say so, friend?
我是安迪 雪糕恶人安迪的那个安迪 你是谁 I'm Andy of Andy's Abominable Snow Cones, and you are?
我是尼克 很高兴见到你 I'm Nick, it's a pleasure to meet you.
不 我的朋友 见到你才很开心 No, it's a pleasure to meet you, friend.
问题是什么 What seems to be the problem?
我其实不知道 但是如果你能帮我下 I actually don't know, but if you can give me a hand,
我可以给你钱 I could totally pay you.
给钱？ Pay me?!
胡说 Nonsense!
我很乐意帮忙 I'd be glad to help.
我们是朋友 We're friends.
来点雪糕吗 Snow cone?
不 不用了 No, I'm good.
我其实有点急事 I'm actually in a little bit of a rush.
不是啥问题 没啥问题 Not a problem, not a problem.
我理解 I understand.
我们雪人几个世纪来都是维修师 You see, us snowmen have been mechanics for centuries.
试纸仓库是我兄弟瑞奇的地盘 Dipstick Depot, that's my brother Ricky's place,
八楼上面的润滑之家是我表兄弗雷迪的地方 and Lube Palace over on 8th, that's my cousin Freddy's,
轮缘工作是我叔叔鲍比的 and RJ's Rimjobs, that's my Uncle Bobby's,
所以我有点懂这些事情 so I kinda got a feel for these things.
要雪糕吗 Snow cone?
不用了 No.
你的问题在于这个东西坏了 Well, you see, your problem here is this thing is shot.
你就看了一眼 You looked so quick.
你是怎么看到的 How did you see anything?
这就是另一件 Well, that's the other thing
人类不了解我们雪人的事情 you hu-mans don't know about us snow-mans,
我们的视力很好 we have impeccable eyesight.
除了我的妹夫斯坦 Except for my brother-in-law Stan.
他是瞎子 He's blind.
所以我要做些什么 So what do I do?
你应该坐到我的后座 Well, you should hop in the back,
随便吃雪糕 have all the snow cones you want,
然后我带你去你要去的地方 and I'll take you where you need to be.
好的 -太好了！ Alright. Yeah!
太好了 Yes!
太好了 太好了 太好了 Yes, yes, yes!
太好了 Yes!
我们一定会很开心的 We are gonna have so much fun together!
- 好的 - 太好了 Okay. Yeah!
太好了 Yes!
哦 好好吃 Oh, it's good.
哇 太好吃了 Yeah, it's real good.
我现在都有点眼花了 You know, I'm felling a little bit woozy.
霍华德营
这种夜晚总是让我想起这件事 Nights like this always make me think about it.
慧迪尔 她很好 She's fine, Hildie.
我从心底这么觉得 I can feel it in my bones.
总有一天 我们能找到她 One day, we will go get her back.
但是现在 我们得专注于重要的事情 But right now, you can't lose focus on what's important.
我们会使他们付出代价 We'll make them all pay,
哪怕我们得一个一个对付 even if we have to do it one by one.
我知道我们现在做的事情很重要 I know the importance of what we're doing here.
女士 My lady!
是谁胆敢打扰我们 Who dares disturb us?
你 欧克尔 You, oinker!
我们又抓到了一个 We've captured another one!
我之前不是告诉你 What did I tell you
不要用这些无用的信息打扰我们吗 about barging in here with useless information?
是的 我知道 先生 Yes, I know, sir...
不就是抓到了人吗 And isn't capturing the humans
我们每天都能抓到 what we do everyday?
你似乎说的都是我知道的事情 You seem to be telling me what I already know.
我知道你晓得 但是 I know, I know you know, but...
所以这个小肥猪得滚回猪窝 So this little piggy needs to take his fat ass
免得我大发雷霆 back to his post before I huff and puff
把你卖到野猪头领那里 and sell you over to Boar's Head.
但是我们找到铁链了 But we found chains!
你找到铁链了 You found chains?
怪兽铁链 Monster chains.
他是那种恋怪物癖者 He's one of those monster mashers.
恋怪物癖者 Monster mashers?!
你为什么不早说呢 Well, why didn't you say so?!
我已经听够了 I've heard enough!
调查一下 Look into this.
好的 如您所愿 Yes, as you wish.
把他带到我面前 Bring him to me.
啊 Ahhh.
哦 我在哪儿 Oh, where am I?
尼古拉斯 Nicholas.
我为什么在这儿 Why am I here?
你是谁？ Who are you?
我是谁？ Who am I?
这个问题不是我是谁 而应该是我是什么 The question isn't who, but what.
好吧 Alright.
你是什么 What, are you?
当你在黑暗中独自一人 When you think you're alone in the dark,
安详睡去 tucked away safe and sound,
我是你夜不能寐的原因 I am the reason you can't sleep at night.
我就是那个让你脖子上的汗毛竖起来的人 I'm the one that makes the hair on your neck stand up,
当你的身体开始发硬 when your body begins to stiffen,
你注意到床单下有东西鼓出来 and you notice a bump rising from beneath the sheets.
等下 Wait.
你在勾引我吗 Are you hitting on me?
你喜欢这个 对吧 You'd like that, wouldn't you?
啊 你为什么对我做这些 Whoa, why are you doing this to me?
你知不知道我... Do you know that I'm a...
我知不知道你是个恋怪物癖者 Do I know that you're a monster masher?
你还奴役我们 And that you get off on enslaving our kind
就为了你自己恶心的癖好吗 for your own disgusting pleasures?
恋怪物癖者？ Monster masher?
你在说什么啊 What are you talking about?!
哦 现在就装吧 Oh, being coy now, are we?
所以 你现在对这个有什么想说的 So, then, what do you have to say about these?!
我可以解释这个 I can explain those.
不需要解释 No need to explain.
我早有我们需要的一切解释 We have all the explanation we need.
你是那种罕见的人 You are one of the rare bunch
喜欢玩弄妖精的根茎 对吧 who likes to play with the goblins' goblets, aren't you?
可能挠挠吹笛者皮特的“长竖笛” Or perhaps tickle Peter Piper's pickle?
或者玩玩鲁尔皮的包皮 Or maybe play with Rumpel's foreskin?
我猜你会想给我们的朋友安迪 And I'm willing to bet you'd enjoy giving our friend Andy
来点勃起让他受苦 some abominable blue balls to make him suffer!
不 不 你说错了 No, no, no, you got it all wrong!
现在是时候 Well, now it's time
让你受折磨了 莱恩先生 to make you suffer, Mr. Lane.
我不能保证你会喜欢和我们在这儿 I cannot guarantee you'll enjoy your stay here with us,
但是我保证会尽力让这 but I can promise that we'll try to make it
充满快乐 as pleasurable as possible.
所以让我首先来欢迎你来到霍华德营 So let me be the first to welcome you to Camp Morningwood.
我不明白 Don't understand.
我是个AA会的主席 I'm an AA moderator.
哦 相信我 到最后 Oh, believe me, by the end of all this,
你觉得会希望你喝醉了 you'll wish you were drunk.
不是那种AA Not that kind of AA.
安静 Silence!
有天你们人类会学尊重我们 One day, you humans will learn to never disrespect us again!
但在这之前 But until that time,
我们要以其人之道还其人之身 we shall give you a taste of your own medicine.
猪仔 Pig!
滚过来 Bring your fat ass over here.
哦 让我省点事吧 Oh, give me a break.
在这等下 Wait here.
这里是911 你有什么紧急情况 9-1-1, what's your emergency?
跳进笼子里 Hop into your cage.
我会给你点生菜 I'll throw you some lettuce.
呃 我要八捆 Mm, I'll take eight bundles.
你确定不要砖头吗 You sure you don't want the bricks?
他们也卖哦 They're on sale.
不要 我喜欢干草的样子 No, I like the look of the hay.
更加自然 It's, ahh, more natural.
买砖头更划算哦 More bang for your buck with the bricks.
我会给你个好价钱 I'll give you a good deal.
不 不 一切尽在我的掌控之中 No, no, I got this under control.
谢谢你 加里 Thank you, Gary.
好吧 Alright.
往前来点 害羞人 我马上回来 行吧 Step up, shy man, I'll be with you in a second, alright?
所以你是在说 So you're telling me
恶人雪人用葡萄和西瓜刨冰 the Abominable Snowman drugged you
给你下了药？ with a grape and watermelon ice?
是的 Yes.
我觉得这个不太可信 You see, I find that hard to believe.
雪人做的葡萄和西瓜刨冰是全镇 The Snowman makes the best grape and watermelon ice
最好吃的 in the whole town.
你是认真的吗 Are you serious?
我现在没有时间跟你扯这些 I don't have time for this.
得了吧 兄弟 我才是没有时间的那个 Come on, man, I'm the one who doesn't have time for this.
他买的刨冰两美元 I mean, he's selling the ices for 2 dollars!
这是个很好的生意 That's a great deal!
我不喜欢你们这种人 And I don't think too kindly of you people
随意诬陷怪物！ coming down on monsters like this!
这是不对的 It's not right!
我不恨怪物 I don't hate monsters.
我帮助怪物 I help monsters.
我很绑匪 I hate kidnappers!
你看到这个家伙了吗 You see this guy?
他是个怪物 He's a monster!
他是个野兽 He's a beast!
啊？ Huh?
而它是我认识的最好的家伙 And he's the nicest guy I know.
小野兽 你有绑架人吗 Are you kidnapping any people, Beast?
他说没有 He said no.
祝你开心 先生 Good day, sir!
不 不 不 No, no, no!
该死 Shit!
我还能打给谁 Who else can I call?
哦 Oh.
比树枝好多了 So much nicer than the twigs.
感谢老天 博士 我需要你的帮助 Doc, thank God, I need your help.
我被骚扰了 他们把我抓起来了 I'm being harassed and they got me held captive.
什么 What?
什么 你屁股里有东西 What, you got something in your ass
她觉得很有吸引力？ and she finds it attractive?
不 No!
我不知道 Well, I don't know.
我是说 如果你觉得长期来看没问题 I mean, if, you know, it's alright with you,
我不知道 你就上呗 in the long run, I don't know, maybe go for it, I guess.
你在说什么 我需要你的帮助 What are you saying? I need your help!
什么 我听不见 What? I can't hear you.
这儿信号不好 You're breaking up here.
我等会打电话给你吧 Let me call you right back.
该死 Dammit!
哦 某人有麻烦了 Ooh, someone's in trouble!
你在哪儿得到的这个 Where did you get this?
怎么 我不能打个电话吗？ What? Don't I get a phone call?
把他扔到双重牢房里 Throw him into the double pen.
哦 我的天 Oh, my!
这就扔吗？ Already?!
是的 Yes!
单层牢房不行 Single won't do.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
别质疑我 小猪仔 Don't question me, piggy.
一报还一报 An eye for an eye.
哦 老天 笑死我了 Oh, God, I crack myself up.
你昨晚看比赛了吗 So, did you see the game last night?
没有 No.
如果我老婆发现我空闲时间看比赛 If my wife caught me watching a game on my free time,
她会让我去睡觉 she'd put me to sleep.
呃 Mm-hm.
遇到麻烦了吗 Little trouble in Dreamland?
哦 那是当然 Oh, you can say that again.
她最近一直翻我的漏斗 She's really been flipping my hourglass lately.
她似乎不明白我有工作要做 She doesn't seem to understand that I got a job to do.
我得去 Mm. I have to work
墓地值班 the graveyard shift.
兄弟 听起来你的阴道里进了点沙子 Sounds like you got a little sand in your vagina, buddy.
阴道里进沙子指有抱怨
是的 沙子 这是另一回事 Yeah, sand, and that's another thing.
我受够了这些沙子 I've had enough with this sand.
你有没有去过沙滩 Have you ever been down to the beach
短裤上全是沙子 and gotten sand in your shorts?
呃 Hm?
嗯 Mm.
这就是我的人生 That's my life.
我蛋蛋上的伤是假的 The chaffing on my balls is unreal.
你的蛋蛋 Your balls?
我不想听你讲你的蛋蛋 I don't wanna hear about your balls!
我的蛋蛋以前是别人的 My balls used to belong to some other guy.
哦哦 没错 没错 Ho-ho! Yeah, yeah.
你认为你有麻烦吗 You think you got problems?
我们这些人已经被迫害数千年了 My people have been persecuted for thousands of years.
你听到我抱怨了吗 Do you hear me complaining?
又来了 Here we go again.
哦 不 不 不 不 Oh, no, no, no, no.
一段时间以前 我去约会 Awhile back, I was out on a date,
等这个美人出现 waiting for this hot piece of ass to show up,
然后有个傻子叫我 when this schmuck calls me,
弗兰肯斯坦 弗兰肯斯坦 弗兰肯斯坦 弗兰肯斯坦 "Frankenstein, Frankenstein, Frankenstein...
弗兰肯斯坦是小说《弗兰肯斯坦》中创造出怪物的生物学家
弗兰肯斯坦 ...Frankenstein!"
哦 这真的让我很生气 Oh, well, that really twisted my bolts
因为这么多年了 每个人都应该知道 because after all these years, everyone should get it right.
我的名字是弗兰克·斯坦 My name is Frank Stein!
这是个犹太名字 It's Jewish!
我觉得那个小贱人是故意的 I think that little shit did it on purpose.
我明白 I understand.
不 我不觉得你明白 No, I don't think you do.
你看到这个了吗 You see this?
这是弗兰肯斯坦 This is Frankenstein.
你看到他这乱七八糟的头发了吧 See him with those, fakakta hair there?
弗兰肯斯坦博士造了我 Dr. Frankenstein made me...
弗兰克·斯坦 Frank Stein,
或者有时叫我弗兰肯斯坦的怪兽 or sometimes referred to as Frankenstein's monster.
我都可以接受 I'm okay with that.
弗兰肯斯坦 Frankenstein.
弗兰克·斯坦 Frank Stein.
弗兰肯斯坦 Frankenstein.
弗兰肯斯坦的怪物 Frankenstein's monster.
最好是叫弗兰克·斯坦 Preferably, Frank Stein.
弗兰肯斯坦 Frankenstein.
弗兰克·斯坦 Frank Stein.
弗兰肯斯坦 Frankenstein.
弗兰肯斯坦的怪物 Frankenstein's monster.
弗兰克·斯坦的小怪物 Frank Stein's monster.
别想耍花招 Don't try anything funny!
霍华德营里戒备森严 The security is rock solid here at Camp Morningwood.
是的 我很容易理解 Yes, it's easy for me to understand,
但是伯尼呢 but what about Bernie?
你明白吗 伯尼 You get it, Bernie?
伯尼 我和你说话呢 Bernie, I'm talking to you.
你是只有一只眼睛 但是你有两只耳朵啊 You may have one eye, but I know you got two fuckin' ears!
不好意思 I'm sorry.
你需要什么 维吉尔 Do you need something, Virgil?
我问你话的时候回答我就行了 You answer me when I'm talking to you.
哦 是我的错 Oh, my mistake.
有时候 我用一只眼睛看东西的时候 我就走神了 Sometimes, I zone out when I'm keeping an eye on things.
对啊 这就是你为什么上周被停着的车撞了 Yeah, that's why you got hit by a parked car last week,
你个傻子 you dopey bastard.
是啊 是啊 Yeah. Yeah.
我们一般叫你傻逼 You're what my people would call a schlemiel.
哦 谢谢 Oh, thank you.
我之前听过这个 I've heard that before.
你是真傻啊 你知道吗 You're really fuckin' stupid, you know that?
是的 这就是为什么他老婆离开了他 Yeah, that's why his wife left him.
他老婆没有离开他 His wife didn't leave him.
她被砍倒了 She was chopped down.
他特么和树结婚了 He married a fuckin' tree.
经典啊 Classic.
我抓到了一个新的恋兽癖 I got a new monster masher.
你怎么不把他带进去 伯尼 Why don't you bring him in, Bernie?
但是我以为我不能处理犯人 But I thought I wasn't allowed to handle the prisoners.
不是 新的规定 从上层直接下达的 Nope, new rule, straight from the top.
你得到提拔了 You got a promotion.
你现在可以进去了 You're allowed inside now!
耶 Yaaaay!
天哪 Jeez.
太好了 That's great.
我还没进去过 I've never been inside before.
每个人都应该体验一下双层牢房 Everyone deserves to experience the double pen.
快去吧 Go pop that cherry.
哦 Ow.
哦 Ooh.
啊哦 Okay-dokey.
谢谢 Thank you.
哦 大家不要这样嘛 Aw, come on, guys!
我升官了呀 I got a promotion!
你们不能再这样对我了 You can't do this to me anymore!
这不公平 No fair.
嘿 伙计 Hey, man.
你还好吗 Are you okay?
呃 感觉不太好 Nah, just not feeling too good.
来月经了吗 That time of the month, huh?
呃 差不多吧 Yeah, something like that.
我现在必须得出去 I just gotta get outta here now.
好啊 我们都想出去 Yeah, well, don't we all?
你知道这儿是什么情况吗 Do you not know what's going on here?
不知道 No.
你知道吗 Do you?
哦 我知道 Oh, I do.
我当然知道 I really do.
所以告诉我你做了什么 So tell us what you did.
我们想听听 Yes, we'd all love to hear it.
我什么也没做 I didn't do anything.
得了吧 Come on.
你一定是他们中最肮脏的 You must be the dirtiest of them all.
没有必要害羞 This is no place to be shy.
告诉我们吧 Tell us.
是的 Yeah.
别这么菜鸡 你个菜鸡 Don't be a chicken shit, chicken shit.
我说了我什么也没做 I said I didn't do anything!
好吧 Alright!
- 好吗 - 好吧 Okay?! Okay!
不好意思 Sorry.
不好意思 I'm sorry.
已经很迟了 It's getting late.
不管他做了什么 Don't matter what he done,
我们都完蛋了 we're all fucked,
我说真的 我们今晚都要完蛋了 and I mean literally, like we're gonna get fucked tonight.
弗兰克刚把一个螺丝拿下来了 Frank just took one of his bolts out!
他的脑袋掉下来了 And his head fell off!
踢它 踢他的脑袋 Kick it, kick his head.
哦 Ow!
伯尼 Bernie?
兄弟你怎么样了 How you doing, buddy?
事实上挺好的 Pretty good, actually.
哦 听到这个我很抱歉 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
把它放回去 Put it back on!
这闻起来好难闻 It smells like shit!
你确定你还好吗 You sure you're okay?
没有人想和我玩 No one wants to play with me.
我太丑了 I'm ugly.
伯尼 你不丑 You're not ugly, Bernie.
我一点也不好 I'm not okay.
我上周服了很多抗抑郁药 I took so many anti-depressants last week,
我的左眼瞎了 I went blind in my left eye.
每天都是这样 It's the same thing everyday.
我醒来 I wake up,
我带上隐形 I put my contact in,
我刷牙 I brush my tooth,
梳头发 I comb my hair,
去工作 and I come to work.
都是一样的 The same thing.
听着 我知道这很难 Look, I know it's tough,
但是你不能让别人对你的看法 but you can't let what others think about you
影响到你 affect who you are.
你得对自己真诚 You gotta be true to yourself.
看到了吗 See?
我们的朋友伯尼给我们上了一课 Our friend Bernie here could teach us all a lesson.
你们在这儿的时间比我长 Now, you guys have been here a lot longer than I have,
你们看得到他受欺负的样子 and you see the way he's treated,
为什么呢 因为他有点不同吗 and why, because he's a little different?
因为他有点迟钝吗 Because he's a little slow.
我迟钝吗 I'm slow?!
这是别人对我说的最好的话了 That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
与众不同造就了你 Being different is who you are,
这为什么一定是件坏事 and why should that be a bad thing?
对吧 Right?
谁说与众不同是件坏事呢 I mean, who's to say that being different is wrong?
哦 太感人了 Oh, so touching.
人类就是小脏虫 对吧 Filthy little maggots, aren't they, humans?
哦 是的 我的女士 Oh, yes, my lady.
哦 肮脏 Oh, filthy.
太肮脏了 Filthy indeed.
你在做什么 What are you doing?!
没做什么 没做什么 什么也没有 Nothing, nothing, nothing at all.
没事 绝对没做什么 Nothing, absolutely nothing.
我们的新犯人有消息了吗 Any word on our new prisoner?
现在没有 我还没套出话来 No, not yet, I couldn't get him to talk,
不过 不用担心 他很快就会屈服 but don't worry, he'll crack soon enough,
哦 and, oh, my.
这真是太美了 What a nice crack, it is.
你怎么能这么自私 没脸的杂种 How could you be so selfish, you faceless fuck?!
老天 Jesus.
人类在外面那样子 你就这么躺着 Just lounging around while people like that are out there!
你是对的 黑迪尔 You're right, Hildie!
老天 你是对的 God, you're right!
不好意思 My deepest apologies.
你不该向我道歉 It's not me you should be apologizing to,
而是可怜的埃斯梅拉达 it's poor Esmeralda.
但是你不能道歉了 对吧 But you can't do that, now can you?
因为她不在这儿 Because she's not here.
我以为你关心她 And I thought you cared about her.
我当然关心她了 I do!
我不知道自己当时在想什么 I don't know what I was thinking.
很显然 你就没思考 Well, clearly, you weren't!
他的胆子太大了 How dare he?
他竟敢到这个 How dare he come into this place
怪物们平和生活的地方 meant for monsters to live in peace, and...
把她抢走 Take her from us!
我们说话的时候 她可能正被折磨 She's probably being tortured as we speak.
别这样说 Don't say that.
他们一定会得到报应 They must all suffer for their ways.
报仇是唯一重要的事情 Revenge is the only thing that matters.
对每一个人类进行报复 Revenge on every one of these humans!
你叫什么 What's your name?
我叫埃文 My name is Evan.
埃文 我能问你你为什么在这儿吗 Evan, can I ask you why you're here?
那个雪人 The yeti.
那个是你怎么来这儿的 No, it's how you got here.
我问的是为什么 I'm asking why.
因为怪物生气了 Because the monsters are mad,
他们拿我发泄 拿我们所有人发泄 对吗 and they're taking it out on me, on all of us, okay?
我们不是说了这个吗 新来的 Didn't we go over that, new guy?
不是 我们说了 只是 No, we did, I just...
你认为他们为什么选择抓了你 Why do you think they picked you?
因为 Because...
因为我没有按照怪物想要的方式 Well, because I haven't exactly treated the monsters
对待他们 how they like to be treated.
这是为什么 And why is that?
他们低我们一等 每个人都知道 They're below us, everyone knows it.
他们不是人类 他们不应该得到人类的待遇 They're not humans, and they shouldn't be treated like us.
这不对 That's not true.
我来这儿的原因 Okay, why am I being...
你笑个 What the hell
屁 凯莉 are you laughing at, Kylie?
你听到自己说的话了吗 Do you hear yourself?
什么 What?
她笑是因为你是个黑人 傻子 She's laughing 'cause you're black, you idiot.
哦 好吧 Okay, fine.
所以你们告诉我 你们不是这么觉得的吗 So you're telling me you don't all feel the same way?
不这样 Not really.
男人是混蛋 Men are assholes.
怪物更好点 Monsters are better.
我觉得他们很性感 I think they're sexy.
埃文 你不能迫害那些 You see, Evan, you can't persecute someone
和你不同的生物 for being different than you are,
尤其是到头来 我们都差不多 especially when in the end, we all have so much in common.
人类都一样 These humans are all the same.
他们不值被信任 They can't be trusted!
是的 女士 Oh, yes, madam.
但是不用担心 我们说话间 事情都安排好了 But don't worry, things are being set straight as we speak.
呃呃 这个位子是留给男孩们的 Uh, uh, uh, that spot's reserved for the boys.
那我该坐哪儿 Well, where am I supposed to sit?
你看 就是这个 黑尔 Ahh... you see, that's just it, Hill,
我夏天结束的时候就要去上大学了 I'm going away to college at the end of summer
而你留在这儿 要是 and you're staying here, and maybe...
要是可以的话 我们现在就结束吧 Maybe it's smart if we just end this now,
避免我们过于投入这份感情 you know, before anyone gets too attached.
但是我 But I...
我 I...
我希望你生不如死 I hope you lead a miserable life.
在你走之前 Now, if there's anything else
还想说点什么吗 you'd like to say before you run...
别太难过 Don't feel too bad.
你的口活很好 You gave a great blowjob.
人都去哪儿了 Where the hell is everyone?!
我叫安迪 My name is Andy.
我是个雪人 我卖刨冰 我恨人类 I'm a yeti, I sell snow cones, and I hate humans.
好吧 Okay.
你为什么恨人类 安迪 Why do you hate humans, Andy?
我不知道 I don't... know.
呃 这种 Um. When did this, uhh...
恨意是什么时候产生的呢 When did this feeling of hatred start?
我不知道 I don't... know.
你还记得以前 Well, do you remember something from your past
可能引起这种恨意的事情吗 that might have triggered this?
因为黑迪尔女士叫我这样做 这算吗 Well, 'cause Madam Hildie told me to, does that count?
算 That counts.
呃 好的 Mm. Okay.
她为什么叫你这样 Why did she tell you that?
那个 那个 我知道 Now that, that, I do know.
好的 每个人排成队 Alright, everybody, form a line.
我有很多刨冰给你们每一个人 I've got plenty of snow for everyone's cones.
我有青柠味 西瓜味 I got lime, I got a watermelon,
还有一种特殊的丁格尔浆果味道 I've got a very special dingleberry flavor.
这是我的最爱 That's my personal favorite.
你有想过做些有用的事情吗 安迪 You ever wanna do something useful, Andy,
而不是给这些小屁孩做仆人 instead of being a servant to these rotten little kids?
嘿 不要插队 Hey, no cutting!
对啊 Yeah.
嘿 Hey!
你觉得你有魔棒就很厉害吗 You think you're so tough with your magic wand?
你不是人类 You're not one of them.
你是我们的一员 You're one of us.
所以 Soooo...
不 我不记得 No, I don't.
我以为我记得 但是我不记得了 I thought I did, but I don't.
我不知道 I don't... know.
我们能继续了吗 Can we just move on?
他显然啥也不知道 He clearly doesn't know anything.
等下 等下 Hold on, hold on.
实际上 这很好 Actually, this is good.
这是很好地说明了 This is a perfect example of...
他是个傻瓜？ An idiot?
笨蛋 A moron.
混蛋 Jackass.
基佬 Homo.
不 No.
这是个随大流 This is a perfect example of somebody
的典型例子 who blindly follows the crowd.
哦哦哦 Oooohhhh.
所以我恨人类 是因为他们不让我吃他们 So, I hate humans because they won't let me eat them,
这是什么意思 what does that mean?
你叫什么名字 What's your name?
介绍一下自己 Introduce yourself.
哦 我是皮特 Oh, I'm Pete.
我是紫色的 I'm purple...
还有我吃人 and I eat people.
好的 你明白麻烦是怎么产生的了吧 Okay, and do you see how that could create a problem?
是啊 但是我为什么要在意 Yeah, but why should I care?
他们不关心我们 They don't care about me.
他说的没错 He's right.
这不公平 It's not fair.
他们恨我们 They hate us.
他们没有好好对待我们 They don't treat us fairly,
所以我们为什么要关心人类 so why should we act any different?
因为不是所有人都一样 Because not all humans are the same,
就像不是所有怪物都一样 你知道吗 just like not all monsters are the same, you know?
确实 是有坏的 I mean, sure, there are bad ones,
但是重要的是不和他们同流合污 but the point is not to stoop to their level.
那我们应该什么也不做 Oh, so we should do nothing.
我问你个问题 博士 Hm, let me ask you a question, doc.
这有什么用 How's that gonna work?
那和他们作对又有什么用呢 How is fighting them gonna work?
目前为止 这对任何人、任何地方都没有起作用 It hasn't worked for anyone anywhere so far,
呃 杀死所有人类 and short of killing all the humans, mm,
或者所有怪物有用吗 没有吧 对吧 or killing all the monsters, it won't, alright?
这只会让我们进一步分裂 It's just gonna drive us further apart.
来点刨冰吗 Snow cone?
不用了 No.
我猜你们在来这儿之前 I'm gonna guess that none of you guys felt very confident
没有人觉得很自信 对吧 before you ended up here, right,
你们都没有真正接受自己 that none of you really accepted yourself.
我们做我们被告知的事情 或者简单的事情 We either do what we're told, or what was easy,
或者是能让我们不注意到自己的事情 or what took the attention off of ourselves.
滚开 Fuck off.
伙计们 问题不是和他人之间 Guys, the problem isn't with each other,
而是和自己 the problem is with ourselves.
你知道吗 博士 你可能说的有点道理 You know, doc, you may be onto something.
我从92年之后就没有照过镜子 I haven't looked in a mirror since '92.
大家加油 我知道你们可以的 Come on, guys, I know you can do this.
你们行吗 Can you?
我觉得他是对的 I think he's right.
我们都是上帝的创造物 We're all God's creatures.
不好意思 各位 I'm sorry, guys.
皮特 Pete.
我也很抱歉 I'm sorry too.
好啊 Yeah.
哈哈 Ha ha.
好啊 Yeah.
看到了吗 伯尼 See, Bernie?
我们做到了 We did it.
让我们不再争吵 Let's not fight anymore.
这里都是朋友 不是犯人 Walk out of here friends, not prisoners.
兄弟 开始领头吧 Start the trend, buddy.
大家都会跟着做的 The others will follow.
博士 你知道我不是最聪明的 You know, I'm not the smartest, doc,
我可以接受这个 and I'm okay with that.
但是我发现那些不能接受自己的人们 But I find that people who aren't okay with themselves,
倾向于向其他人发泄 they tend to take it out on others.
伯尼 你很善良 You got a good heart, Bernie.
第三章 揭示
哦 Oh.
嘿 阿莉莎 Hey, Alyss!
我在这里 Here I am!
嗯哼 Mm-hm!
来坐下 Come sit down.
嘿 Hey.
所以我们为什么在这儿 So, why are we here?
因为我喜欢这个地方 Because I like this place,
我不想在任何把东西放在厨房里 and I don't wanna be eating anywhere
的地方吃饭 where they got them things in the kitchen.
我同意 芬巴尔 但是 I agree with you, Finbar, but...
不能相信他们 我就是不能相信他们 Can't trust 'em, just can't trust 'em,
尤其是我得和你谈谈这个的时候 especially when I have to talk to you about this.
哦 天哪 Oh, my God.
这个地方真的存在 It does exist.
你在哪儿拿到这个的 Where did you get this?
我找到的 I found it.
什么 What?
我开车去上舞蹈课 我看到了一个雪人 I was driving to my spin class, and I had a yeti sighting.
哈巴涅拉舞曲 ? "Habanera"
我有种很深的预感 I had a feeling way deep down in my sack,
我知道这是我们的机会 and I knew this could be our chance.
我悄悄地看着这个小贱人 I spun that son bitch around real stealth-like,
放点摇滚歌曲 等着行动 pulled a Huey Lewis, and waited to make my move.
所以我跟着他们直到营地 So I followed them all the way to their camp,
在地图上标出来 拍出这张照片 marked it on the map, snapped that there photo,
到这儿来吃个好吃的馅饼 and came here for a nice piece of pie.
说到馅饼 我的馅饼在哪儿 Speaking of pie, where is my pie?
南希 Nancy!
我的馅饼在哪儿 Where's my pie?!
呃 Hm?!
你真的去那儿了吗 You were actually there?
是的 Yeah.
这么多年之后 After all these years...
我真的开始怀疑自己 I really started to doubt myself.
我以为这一天永远不会来 I thought this day would never come.
你怎么了 The fuck is wrong with you?
这很好 This is good!
你还一直说你是聪明的那个 And you're always telling me that you're the smart one.
只是 It is, it's just...
我现在脑子里面 There are so many thoughts
的想法太多了 running through my head right now.
我终于能报仇了 I'm finally gonna be able to get my revenge,
对那些怪兽做出他们对我家人做的事情 to do to those monsters what they did to my family.
不要担心 阿莉莎 Don't worry your pretty little head of yours, Alyss.
你很快就会有自己的家庭 Soon you'll be starting a family of your own.
美国梦 The American dream.
应有尽有 The whole 69 yards.
看在老天的份上 你要结婚的 I mean, you're getting married for Pete's sake.
我就是不敢相信这个混蛋打败了我 I just can't believe that asshole beat me to you.
嘿 Hey!
你还没有遇见他呢 You haven't even met him yet.
他人很好 He's a really great guy.
太好了 我都配不上他 So great I don't even deserve him.
如果他很好 你就和他在一起 If he's great, then you do.
如果他不停止和你吵架 But if he doesn't stop fighting with you,
我就把这个叉子插到他的肠子里 I'm gonna stick this fork up his rectum.
嗯哼 Mm-hm.
就在这儿 Right here.
我觉得我们吵架是因为我们在乎对方 I think we fight because we care.
当我看着他的眼睛时 我知道他对我的感觉 When I look into his eyes, I know how he feels about me.
哦 那些小狗的眼睛 Ah, those puppy dog eyes.
有时候它们就让一切都都变好了 Somehow they just make everything all right.
这是你的派 方巴尔 Here's your pie, Funbar.
是芬巴尔 It's Finbar.
但是只有朋友这样叫我 But only my friends call me that.
那我还是继续叫你方巴尔吧 So I'm just gonna keep calling you Funbar, then.
南希 别这样对我 Ah, don't do me like that, Nancy.
我们是朋友 We're friends!
呃 Hm.
嗯 太好了 Mm, yeah!
嗯 Mm!
太好了 热乎乎的苹果派 Nice, warm apple pie.
在我的嘴里太美味了 软绵绵的 So delicious in my mouth, the squishy tenderness,
很容易吃下去 goes right down so easy!
呃 Mm!
肉桂 Cinnamon.
有肉桂味 So cinnamony.
是肉桂吗 That cinnamon?
这是山核桃馅饼 It's pecan pie!
我知道 I know!
太可惜他们把鸟都杀了 Just a shame they're killing all them birds.
鹈鹕 Pelican.
所以你有什么计划吗 So what's the plan?
我不能就这么走进去 We can't just walk in there.
我们需要武器 We need weapons.
武器 嘘 Weapons?! Shh.
或许我们不应该这么着急 Maybe we should just slow down just a little bit.
我们还没有准备好 We're not ready for this yet.
什么 What?
我只是在开玩笑 I'm just fucking with ya.
你知道的 逗一逗 You know, tweaking your tits?
我们就今晚去教训这些肮脏的怪物们 We're gonna give it to those dirty rotten monsters tonight,
但我得先去趟厕所 right after I excuse my asshole.
你知道吗 我的尿已经滴了有20分钟了 You know, it's been leaking for about 20 minutes.
我一直很小心地坐在这儿 I've been sitting here really patiently,
尿已经滴到我的袜子里 and it's dripping down to my sock.
我得去换袜子 I need to change my socks now.
但是我现在必须得去了 But I gotta do it right now
免得下面搞脏了 before things get a little messy down there,
我马上回来 so I'll be right back.
我清理一下 Let me just clean up.
嗯哼 Mm-hm!
哦 就在这儿 Ooh, there it is!
呃 Mm.
呃呃呃 Mmmmm.
如果你是被挟持的 If you're being held here against your will,
就告诉我 我能帮你 just let me know, I can help you.
什么 What?
就眨两下眼睛 我能确保他没有碰你 Just blink twice, I'll make sure he doesn't touch you.
不 No.
哦 天哪 不 不 他是我朋友 Oh, my God, no, no, he's my friend.
好吧 不好意思 但是你能明白 Okay, I'm sorry, but you gotta see
我为什么这么做 对吧 where I'm coming from, right?
我在这儿都能闻到臭味 I mean, I can still smell him here.
这是这个气味吗 That's what that is?
是的 不是很好闻 Yeah, it's not good.
拿着这个 好吧 Look, just take this, okay?
这个东西能照顾你 This kid can take care of you
如果你需要保护 in case you ever need protection.
嘭 枪那些东西 Pew, guns and shit.
你也应该给我打电话 Also, you should call me
因为你真的很漂亮 'cause you're really, really pretty.
德鲁里巷
好的 我们进去 我们出来 Alright, we're getting in, we're getting out.
不管你做什么 都不要告诉她我们为什么来这儿 Whatever you do, don't tip her off about why we're here.
好的 但是我不要敲门 Alright, but I'm not knocking.
我上次敲门 找错了地方 I knocked at the last house and it was the wrong place.
芬巴尔 Finbar.
怎么了 What?
你敲门比我好多了 You have a way better knock than I do!
好的 Okay!
你觉得她听到了吗 You think she heard it?
嗯哼 好的 Mm-hm. Okay.
嗨 Hi!
请问有事吗 Can I help you?
是的 女士 您好 Yes, hi, ma'am.
我们在找 We are looking for...
一个“吃我的8 = = D” an "Eat My Eight Equal Sign Equal Sign D."
你知道他在哪儿吗 You wouldn't happen to know where he is, now would ya?
什么 What?
不是这张纸 That's the wrong paper.
哦 那是上周的 Oh, that was from last week.
但我仍需要它 But I still need that.
谢谢 Thank you.
我们是你儿子的朋友 We're friends of your son's.
哦 Oh!
杰米的朋友就是我的朋友 Well, any friend of Jamie's is a friend of mine.
进来吧 我倒点茶 Come on in, I'm making some tea.
好的 但是我们不能久留 Okay, but we can't stay long.
喝茶 Tea.
还有你的 And you.
加糖吗 Sugar?
是的 请加点 Yes, please.
怎么了 What?
新鲜的时候更好吃 Better when it's fresh.
谢谢 Thank you.
所以 So...
你们是怎么认识杰米的 How do you know my Jamie?
我们在社区学院一起当过裸模 Well, we posed nude together at the community college.
不 不 芬巴尔 你把他和其他人弄混了 No, no, Finbar, you are confusing him with someone else.
不 不 绝对就是他 No, no, that's definitely it
阿尔弗雷多小姐的教室111 Miss Alfredo's class room 111.
出了个大事 那孩子摸了我 You know, there was a big incident, the kid touched me.
不是什么大事 Not a big deal...
天哪 My gosh!
不要放在心上 芬巴尔喜欢开玩笑 Don't mind, Finbar, he loves to kid around.
呃 Hm.
贱人 你踢了我吗 Did you kick me, bitch?
没有 No.
这... That's, um...
我们的朋友杰米去哪儿了 So, where's my homeboy Jamie at?
呃 Hm?
我想他在楼上的房间里 I think he's upstairs in his room.
好的 Good.
所以 So...
呃 Uh...
你的丈夫在家吗 Is your husband home?
不 亲爱的 他很久前就离开我了 Oh, no, honey, he left us a long time ago.
事实上 我小的时候 我那个傻逼爸爸离开了 Actually, my piece of shit father left me and my mother
我和我妈妈 when I was really young, so...
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
这对小孩子很煎熬 It's so hard on the kids.
我能问你们为什么吵架吗 May I ask why you two would fight?
茶包 Teabag.
你好啊 Oh, what's up? Yeah.
你好啊 小娘炮 What's up, pussy?
你他妈是谁 Who the fuck are you?!
什么 密码是什么 What? What's the password?!
密码 那个密码 Password? The password,
那个该死的密码 the fucking password!
你要密码才能进来吗 You need a password to get up in this bitch?
好吧 好吧 Okay, okay.
嫩黄瓜 对吗 Is it, uh, it's gherkin, right?
- 是嫩黄瓜吧 - 这个根本不沾边 It's gotta be gherkin, hm? That's not even close.
好吧 小胖子 冷静一下 Okay, fat boy, let's just calm ourselves down one minute,
我一会儿再回来 and I'll come again in a second.
现在 在我把你舌头切下来前 No, now, fucktard, before I cut your tongue off
擦屁股滚蛋 and I wipe my ass with it.
好的 划拳 Okay, blumpkin!
对了吧 Good, right?
兄弟 这比你第一次猜的 I'm in... Dude, that's even worse
还要差 than your first guess.
好吧 听着 我来这儿是因为有人告诉我 Okay, listen, I'm here because someone told me
你这儿有 that you were the guy to talk to
上好的老式怪物武器 for some good ol' fashioned monster-killing weapons.
对吧 That right?
我猜你可以这么说 I guess you could say that.
我确实这么说了 I did say that.
你会这么说吗 Would you say that?
听着 善良的先生 我们很需要 Listen, kind sir, we desperately need...
你们需要什么 What do you need?
我们找到了一个怪物折磨人类的地方 So we found this camp where monsters are torturing humans,
我们需要 and we need to...
使用我不可思议的能力去对付它们 Use me for my uncanny ability to fuck shit up
使这些畜生生不如死 and make those dirty bastards squirm?
没错 我就要这样做 Hell yeah, I do!
嗯哼 Mm-hm!
让我看一下你有什么能耐 Now show me what you got!
我有蓝球球 I got blue balls!
哦 该死 Oh, shit!
小兄弟 你不错啊 You outdid yourself, little plum.
让我们打起来吧 Let's get physical.
你是我的英雄 You're my hero.
嗯哼 Mm-hm.
亲爱的 这真的很难 That's really tough, dear.
但是 如果他和看起来的一样好 But, you know, if he's as great as he seems,
我肯定他会理解 I'm sure he'll understand.
谁知道呢 Well, who knows?
如果他不能接受呢 What if he can't handle it?
如果他认为我疯了 不是个好人 What if he thinks I'm crazy and not a good person?
从我的错误中汲取教训吧 Learn from my mistakes.
诚实是最好的方法 Honesty's the best way to go.
好的 女士们 让我们开始吧 Alright, let's wrap this shit up, ladies!
我要去杀怪物了 I got a monster to strangle
我不是在说那些营地里面的怪物 and I'm not talking about the ones at the camp.
老妈 我和朋友出去了 Going out with my friends, Ma!
你不能穿成这样 You can't wear that.
为什么 我看起来不错 Why? I look good.
不 好吧 No. Fine.
我们得走了 We have to go.
但是很谢谢你能和我聊天 But thank you so much for the talk.
意义很大 It really meant a lot.
这是我的荣幸 It's my pleasure.
嘿 Hey, jugs!
祝你们好运 Good luck.
注意安全 Be safe!
啊 Ahhh!
该死 Dammit!
我的意思是 你这种东西都准备好的人 I mean, a man like you is ready for anything,
居然没想到带杀虫剂 and you don't think to carry a can of bug spray?
我杀不死大象 但能杀死蚊子 I mean, I can kill an elephant, but not a mosquito.
你能闭嘴吗 Do you ever shut up?
不能 No!
他们咬死我了 我的血对他们来说 They're all over me and my sweet blood,
就像小弟弟 it tastes like penis to them!
什么 What?
小弟弟 Penis.
对这些小吸血鬼来说 我尝起来就像小弟弟一样 I taste like penis to these little suckers.
他有啥毛病 What is wrong with him?
怎么 你们听不懂吗 What, you don't get it?
就像那部电影 It's like that movie.
你们有看过詹姆斯和巨根吗 You ever see James and the Giant Penis?
那里有一个很大的阴茎 大家都看到了 You know, there's a big penis, everyone sees the penis,
他们说 “哇 好大的小弟弟” they say, "Wow, what a big penis."
然后那个阴茎飞走了 他们说 Then the penis flies away, and they say,
“这个巨大的小弟弟要去哪儿” "Where'd the big penis go?"
阴茎回来的时候 人们开始一点点啃它 Then it comes back and they start nibbling on the penis,
然后他们唱赞美歌 and then they sing Kumbaya.
这是一个很经典的邪教片 It's a cult classic.
我每晚都看 I watch it every night.
上周二 我手淫了好久 Last Tuesday, I gave it a standing masturbation.
所以 你说的是桃子吗 So, you're saying peaches?
对的 桃子 Yes, peaches.
桃子 Peaches.
没错 桃子 Yes, peaches.
好吧 我们就说桃子吧 Okay, then we're settled on peaches.
对啊 桃子 Yeah, peaches.
你知道啊 You know...
像屌一样 ...like cock.
穿过这片空地 Right through this clearing over here.
这儿就是我跟着那个胖贱人的地方 That's where I followed that fat son bitch.
准备好 Set up.
马上要午夜了 Almost midnight.
准备开枪了 Start cracking some skulls.
我们应该等到机会再攻击 We need to wait for our window of attack.
是啊 我打中了那个贱人的眼睛 Yeah, I got that son bitch right in the eye!
伯尼 Bernie!
正中靶心 That's a bullseye!
他根本没料到 He didn't see that coming.
等下 Wait a minute.
这儿有人 There's humans down there.
什么 What?
哦 我的天哪 Oh, my God!
他吃了他 He ate him!
他居然吃了他 He fucking ate him!
伙伴们 游戏开始了 It's gametime, guys.
让我开始屠杀吧 Let's do this!
你听到他说的 You heard him.
游戏开始了 It's gametime!
他就是这么说的 宝贝 游戏开始了 That's what he said, it's gametime, baby!
哦 该死 Oh, shit!
我的营地发生了什么 What is happening to my camp?!
快起来 布吉乐 Get up, Boogey!
快点起来 把这个弄好 Get up and fix this now!
我的犯人们都跑了 My prisoners are escaping!
快去 Go!
天哪 Christ!
每次都这样 Every time!
是啊 Yeah!
跑啊 一群混蛋 跑啊 Run, you son of a bitches, run!
我要把你们都杀了 I'll kill you all!
呃 Hm.
我好像没有子弹了 I think I'm outta bullets.
呃 Hm.
哦 想都别想 Oh, no, you don't!
给老子过来 Come to papa!
不 闭嘴 闭嘴 No! Shut up, shut up!
嘘 嘘 Yeah, shh, shh!
你知道你闻起来很臭吗 You know you smell like shit?
不 我觉得臭味是你发出来的 No, I think that's you.
真的吗 Really?
没错 Yeah.
贱人 Bitch!
发生了什么 What's going on?
妈妈 快跑 快跑 Go, Mama, go!
妈妈 快跑 我勒个擦 Mama, go! Bloody hell!
比我想得还糟糕 It's worse than I thought!
拿着 别让他们抓住你们 Here, don't let them catch you!
不得已的话就开枪自尽吧 Shoot yourself if you have to!
看看这是谁 Look who it is.
是你 You.
你不许说 Don't you say it.
你不许说 Don't you say it!
弗兰肯斯坦 Frankenstein.
你个贱人 You son of a bitch!
圣玛利亚 ? "Ave Maria"
我们能在这找个手给弗兰肯斯坦吗？ Can we get a hand for Frankenstein over here?
有人可以吗 哼 Anybody, huh?
你呢 You?
不行吗 No?
好吧 Alright.
来吧 大块头 Come on, tough guy.
傻逼 Schmuck.
你个傻逼 You schmuck.
不要啊 No!
哦 天啊 天啊 天啊 Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!
哦 老天啊 Oh my God!
啊 Ahhh!
我是个野兽 I'm an animal!
我要吃了你 I'm gonna eat ya.
你要吃了我吗 You're gonna eat me?
我也要吃了你 I'm gonna eat you too!
你对尼克做了什么 What did you do to Nick?!
终于完成了 Finally complete.
完美 Perfect.
饿狼 Wolf!
我擦 Fuck!
这个家伙是谁 Who is this guy?
他疯了吧 He's gone mad!
你在做什么 伙计 What are you doing, man?
人类在追杀我们 The humans are killing us.
我们需要你的帮助 We need your help!
这些沙子太荒谬了 This sand is ridiculous.
我为什么不能用个魔杖 Why can't I just do it with a wand?
哈 Ha!
你本来可以直接从我的袋子里拿一点 You could've just taken one handful outta the bag.
太疯狂了 太疯狂了 Crazy! Crazy!
你想要我的蛋蛋吗 You want my balls?
你想要我的巨根吗 You want my big fat dick?
你想要我紫色的巨根吗 You want my big, fat purple dick?
放开我的姐姐 Let my sister go!
What? 什么
放开她 Let her go!
好吧 Alright.
小姐 你现在可以跑了 You run along now, Missy.
我先抓住更丑的那个 I'm gonna deal with the uglier one first.
你不能因为自己玉树临风 Just because you're extremely handsome,
就这么对待我们 doesn't mean you can treat us like that.
听着 好吧 紫妖精 Listen here, purple nurple, okay?
我支持女权 I'm a full-blown women's advocate.
我不打女人 I don't fight the females,
所以你为什么不回去 so why don't you just go on with your way
我也走开 回到森林那边 and I'll go on my way, back into the forest,
然后我回家 我们永远都不再看到对方 and I'll head home, we'll never see each other again.
好吧 听起来不错吧 Okay? Sounds good?
呼 呼 Hoo, hoo.
你喜欢这样吗 You like that?
芬巴尔叔叔给你送了点药 Uncle Finbar delivered you some medicine.
哼 你喜欢吗 Hm? You like it?
哼 Hm?
看起来你挺喜欢的 因为你都不说话了 Looks like you did 'cause you're speechless.
哈 哈 Ha ha.
我的小弟弟 My peppers.
我可爱的小香肠 小弟弟 My sweet sausage and peppers.
你个贱人 You bitch!
是你放的屁还是我放的 Was that you or me?
你太脏了 You're so dirty!
哦 老天爷 Oh, my God, yeah!
啊 该死 Oh, shit!
就这样 That's right!
哦哦 啊 Ohhh! Ah..
我的蛋蛋 My gooch!
我的蛋蛋 你把它捏碎了 My gooch, you destroyed it.
这是我最宝贵的地方 That's my precious area.
去你妈的 You fuck!
我希望你好好享受自己在世上的最后一口气 I hope you're enjoying last breathe of air!
现在 And now...
我想要吸 I want to suck...
你的小弟弟 your dick.
什么鬼 What the hell?!
你为什么要这样啊 What'd you do that for?!
这么多月 Months!
我等了好几个月 Months I've waited for this.
小猪 你在这儿做什么 What are you doing here, porky?
外面有个大狼 There's a big bad wolf outside!
哦 闭嘴吧 Oh, shut up!
我们现在安全吗 Are we safe?
我觉得我们挺安全的 I think we're good.
我们就等这一切结束就好了 We'll just wait for all this to blow over.
抱住我 Hold me.
呃 Mm.
嘿 哇 Hey! Whoa!
哇 我没看见你在这儿 Whoa, I didn't see that there.
你身上全是树叶什么的 You got all that foliage and whatnot.
好吧好吧 Okay, okay.
不就是一个男的碰到另一个男的小弟弟嘛 It's just one dude touching another dude's junk.
不要 No!
哦 我的天 Oh, my God!
饶了我吧 你个混球 Spare me you fat bastard!
求你了 我给你买辣酱玉米饼馅 Please, I'll buy you enchiladas!
我求求你了 I'm begging you, please!
哈 Whoa!
别动 Don't move.
放开他 你个野兽 Get off him, you beast.
快点 我知道你听到我了 Come on, I know you hear me!
放开他 不然我就杀了你 Let him go, or I swear I won't hesitate to kill you.
现在快滚 Now leave.
滚 Go!
快点 滚 Come on, go!
别试探我 Don't tempt me!
你们这些怪物 快点 Come on, all of you monsters!
滚 全都滚开 Get out of here, leave!
再也别回来了 Never come back!
你弄错了 You got it all wrong.
闭嘴 Shut up!
不可能 It can't be!
哦 Ooooh.
我认识他 I know that cracker.
尼克 Nick?
嘿 Hey.
我差点杀了你 I almost killed you.
你是个狼人吗 You're a werewolf?!
听着 我一直想告诉你来着 Yeah, look, I've been meaning to tell you that.
是吗 Were you?!
我担心你会做何反应 I was worried about how you'd react,
我现在还是有点担心 and I still kinda am.
等下 让我理一下思路 Wait a minute, let me get this straight.
你们认识对方 You two know each other?
他是我未婚夫 He's my fiancee.
该死的 Damn.
哦 真的吗 Oh, really?
尼克 Nick.
太恶心了 Gross.
现在你说实话了 So now you're being honest.
尼克 我一直都很诚实 I am always honest with you, Nick.
这就是为什么我瞒着你 我感觉很糟糕 That's why I felt so terrible about keeping it from you!
我不应该这么自私 It was wrong of me to be so selfish.
但是你他妈的是个狼人 But you're a fucking werewolf!
而你捕杀我们 And you hunt us.
不 听着 No, listen...
不 你听我说 好吧 No, you listen, okay?
我一直不太能接受自己 Look, I've always had trouble accepting who I am,
我认为你也会有困难 and I thought that you were gonna have
接受这件事情 trouble accepting it as well.
很明显 我对了 Clearly, I was right.
不要再有秘密了 No more secrets.
如果你不愿意的话 我不能一直把你装在浴缸里 I can't keep you bottled up if you don't wanna be.
科尔博士？ Dr. Cole?!
尼古拉斯？ Nicholas?!
爸爸？ Dad?!
老天哪 My goodness.
阿莉莎 是你吗 Alyssa, is that you?
等下 这是你爸爸？ Wait, he's your father?!
你认识他吗？ You know him?!
我们在一起工作 We work together!
你和我爸在一起工作 你却不告诉我吗？ You work with my dad, and you didn't tell me?!
你不能怪我 You can't hold that against me!
我才刚发现 I just found this out!
你和我未婚夫一起工作吗 You work with my fiancee?!
我的阿莉就是你最近有矛盾的 My Ally is the one that you've been having
的那个人吗？ problems with lately?!
我不是你的任何人 I am not your anything!
你告诉他了？ You told him?!
说了一点 A little.
你告诉我你爸死了 You told me he was dead!
你杀了我吗 You killed me?
那可能不完全正确 That may not have been entirely true.
真的吗？ 哼 Really? Hm.
我知道 I know.
我知道这不是个好时机 I know, really bad timing,
但我保证 这是最后一个谎言 but that's the last lie, I promise.
尼克 我很抱歉 Nick, I'm sorry.
亲爱的 你好美啊 你都长这么大了 Honey, you're so beautiful, and you're all grown up.
你别靠近我 Don't you come near me.
亲爱的 冷静下来 Honey, let's just calm down.
告诉我发生了什么 Just tell me what's going on.
你的朋友科尔博士 Your friend, Dr. Cole,
抛弃了我和我妈 abandoned me and my mother.
事情不是这样的 Well, it wasn't like that.
我的意思是 她妈妈和我之间有矛盾 I mean, her mother and I were having problems.
我还是个小孩子 I was a child.
你毁了我们的生活 You ruined our lives.
我知道 I know.
而且看来什么都没变 And I can see nothing's changed.
你的车上还放着一箱啤酒 You still got a case of beer riding shotgun.
不 不 不 我戒酒了 No, no, no, I'm sober.
我只是 只是喝了几杯啤酒 I'm so... Well, a couple of beers.
你得理解 当我离开你妈妈时 You have to understand, when I left your mother,
我的状态很不好 I was in a bad place.
好吧 所以你离开了 Okay, so you left the bad place,
那个依赖你的家庭 偏偏 where your family who depended on you just happened to be,
跑去哪儿了？ to run off to what?!
和某个你捕到的鱼幸福生活在一起？ Live happily ever after with some fish you caught?!
阿丽莎 我的宝贝 Alyssa, sweetheart.
他让我们自生自灭 He left us to rot!
你不在乎我的感受 You didn't care how I felt!
你也不在乎我妈的感受 You didn't care how Mom felt!
我是个懦夫 I was a coward.
说你是个懦夫简直轻描淡写了 Coward! Is an understatement.
黑迪尔 Hildie?!
你在这儿做什么 What are you doing here?
你认识她吗？ You know her?!
你认识她吗？ You know her?
什么 你会说话？ What, you speak?!
哦 我美丽的斯坦利 告诉他们 Oh, my dearest Stanley, tell them.
我们在高中的时候是朋友 Well, we used to be friends in high school.
朋友 Friends?
你就这么称呼我？朋友？ Friends, that's what you'd call us?
哦 黑迪尔 Ohh, Hildie!
我本来都要永远放弃了 就为了你 I would've given up forever... for you.
没关系 黑迪尔女士 It's okay, Madam Hildie.
我们找回埃斯梅拉达了 We have Esmeralda back.
我们营地终于要有些安宁了 We'll finally have some peace on the reservation again.
另外 我觉得他好像不是故意的 对吧 Plus, it seems to me that he didn't even mean it, right?
对吧 Right?
确实是 It's true!
不是这样的 It's not true!
还有人想说什么吗 Anyone else care to speak up?
我觉得没有人想说话了吧 I didn't think so.
你们都觉得我这样做是为了她吗 Did you all think I did this for her?!
你们当然是这么认为的 Of course you did.
太可怜了 Pathetic!
个人来说 Personally...
我宁愿他杀了那个贱人 I would've rather him killed the bitch!
好吧 好吧 黑迪尔 放松 Okay, okay, relax now, Hildie!
等等 老天啊 Jesus Christ, wait, wait!
好吧 好吧 老天 Okay, okay, Jesus!
该死 Shit!
就... Just a...
你只能靠你自己了 兄弟 You're on your own, buddy.
没事 斯坦利 That's okay, Stanley!
跑走吧 Run away!
你还会做什么 What else is new?!
杀了她 Shoot her.
如果这把枪里面有子弹的话 If there any bullets in this gun,
我十分钟前都杀了你了 I would've shot you 10 minutes ago.
该死 Dammit.
女士 我们... Ma'am, let's just...
尼克 Nick!
你跟我走 You're coming with me!
我们来看看你漂亮的宝贝女儿 Let's see if your beautiful baby girl
能不能逼你当个男人 can force you to be a man!
你本能当个半人半魔女 You could've been half witch.
黑迪尔 Hildie!
放开我女儿 Let my daughter go!
哦 这下可好了 Oh, this should be good.
不要伤害她 Don't hurt her!
现在 你是和我有问题 Now, your problem's with me!
我在这儿 抓我吧 Here I am, take me!
我随你处置 I'm all yours!
让她走 Let her go!
哇 Whoa!
我告诉你 你一点也没变老 Let me tell you, you haven't aged very well.
爸爸 Daddy!
啊啊啊 Ahhwww.
阿莉 Ally!
不管发生什么 我爱你 Whatever happens, I love you!
自从你生下来起 我就一直爱着你 Never stopped loving you since the day you were born!
你以为自己可以逃跑 You thought you could run from me,
但是 哦 but, oh...
你大错特错了 how you were wrong.
你笑什么 What are you laughing at?
你以为这就会让你高兴吗 You think this will make you happy?
你错了 You're wrong.
你这一生都恨人类 You've been hating humans your entire life,
事实上 你只恨你自己 and in reality, you only hated yourself.
我们都一样 We're no different.
那挺感人的 That was touching.
在你死之前还想说点什么吗 Anything else... before you die?!
你的口活很好 You gave a great blowjob.
你为什么这样做 Why'd you do that?
我不值得你的帮助 I don't deserve your help.
不 你值得 Yes, you do.
我现在发现你其实是个好人 I see, now, that you're a really good man,
你值得拥有第二次机会 and you deserve a second chance.
这些年来 你怎么不说一句话 All these years, why didn't you say something?
因为你是个混蛋 Because you're an asshole.
- 老爸 - 哦 宝贝 Daddy. Oh, sweetheart.
我爱你 I love you.
哦 我 哦 Oh, I, ow!
哦 哦 Ow. Oh!
哦 老天 你在流血 哦 哦 没啥关系 Oh, my gosh, you're bleeding! Yeah, yeah, it's all right.
这个 这个 哦 Here, right here. Oh.
拿着这个 从现在开始 Hold that. From now on,
我会保护你和尼古拉斯 I'm gonna be there for you and for Nicholas.
谢谢你 斯坦 Thanks, Stan.
不 不 我 不 我很抱歉 No, no, I... No, I'm so sorry.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我爱你 I love you.
我等这个已经等了一辈子 I've been waiting my whole life for this.
好吧 看来我是个糟糕的枪手 Well, turns out I'm a terrible shot,
但是我想大家都挺好的 but I think everybody's okay.
除了伯尼 Everyone except Bernie.
谁是伯尼 Who's Bernie?
哦 是他 Oh, him.
是啊 他死了 Yeah, he's dead.
他真的死了 He's very dead.
所以你难道不希望当时跟我走了 So don't you wish you came along with me
而不是去吃那个难吃的刨冰 instead of eating that shit-flavored snow cone?
我不知道 I don't know.
我觉得事情还不错 I think things turned out okay.
你也认识他吗 You know him too?
不 他 No, he...
这个贱人不想坐在我的脸上 This son of a bitch didn't wanna sit on my face.
什么大不了 尼克 What's the big deal, Nick?
我一直坐在他脸上 I sit on his face all the time.
什么 Excuse me?!
哦 那是个坐垫 Oh. It's seat covers.
我们在说那个坐垫 We were talking about seat covers.
我在去小屋的时候 他提议带我一程 He offered me a ride when I was heading up to my cabin.
哦 你可以整晚工作的小屋 Ah, the cabin where you work your overnight shifts.
是的 整晚工作 Yes, and by overnight shifts,
如果你是说把我绑起来 if you mean to chain myself up
保证每个人安全直到早晨 那就是我的工作 and keep everyone safe until morning, then yes.
这实际上是个很好的地方 It's actually a really nice place.
听起来不错 Sounds like a party.
不要再有什么秘密了 No more hiding.
嗯 Mm.
我们还应该留着铁链 对吧 We're still gonna keep the chains, right?
是的 哇 哇 哇 Yes... Whoa, whoa, whoa!
听着 我很高兴你和尼克找到了彼此 Look, I'm glad that you and Nick have found each other
还有所有这些事情 但是请不要让我听见锁链 and all of that, but please no more chained up,
坐在我脸上 睡觉派对这种对话 sit on my face slumber party conversation
好吗 around me, alright?
好的 先生 Will do, sir.
我想我这周要去钓鱼 I think I'm gonna take that week and go fishing.
哦 好的 君子一言 驷马难追 Oh, yeah, promise is a promise.
好的 或者两周 Yeah, I think maybe two.
或者两周 没问题 Maybe two. Sure.
嘿 我饿了 Hey, I'm starving!
谁想吃饭 Who wants to eat?!
我知道个好地方 I know this great little place
有好吃的蛋蛋馅饼 with some nice penis cobbler.
特别好吃 It's delicious!
你知道我还喜欢什么吗 You know what else I like?
你们去过尼斯湖酒馆吗 You guys ever been to Loch Ness Tavern?
那儿的东西很好吃 They have great Haitian food!
有人在听我说话吗 Is anyone even listening to me?
就因为我是黑人吗 是因为这个吗 It's because I'm black, isn't it?
呃 能来个人把我放到湖里面吗 Uh, can someone please put me back in the fucking lake?
剧终
谨以此片纪念亲爱的尼古拉斯·J·萨尔瓦迪奥